The Baby Whisperer!

I'm reading this book called "Secrets of the Baby Whisperer for Toddlers."  It is awesome.  It has this cool test where you answer 20 questions about your toddlers (ages 1-3) and the results help you determine what temperament your child has.  Then the book is filled with how to parent your child's temperament.  There are 5 temperaments: angel, textbook, touchy, spirited, and grumpy.  Kailee is an angel baby with a touch of "by the textbook" in her!!  Soooooo easy.  And Allie is a Spirited baby, but kinda easy b/c she is a textbook baby!  I coulda told ya that.  What the book described a spirited baby as really described Allie to a tee.  She has lots of energy, gets into everything, and has a mind of her own, often crying loudly when she wants things her way.  The key: ignore the tantrums and give her energy outlets.  Hard to do in the winter time. She just needs to get outside and run around. If you don't have a good routine and nap/sleep schedule for spirited babies, b/c they have will power and a set of lungs, they will cry for long periods of time.  Tantrums are their specialty if not given structure.  I'm so glad I have Allie on a good routine.  She sleeps 14 hrs. at night and takes a 1-3 hour nap every day.  She is a pretty good baby, she just has lots of energy and can cock the attitude when she doesn't get what she wants.   The book also has a chapter on tantrums, which I'm so excited to read b/c Allie is starting to throw them.  I really never had to deal with Kailee throwing tantrums.  It's easy for me to re-direct Allie, but I have to remember that sometimes I just need to completely ignore her b/c cajoling her and responding to her fits teaches her that that's what she has to do to get my attention.  I skimmed the 3 D's of dealing with a tantrum: distract, detach, and/or disarm.  If you can easily distract, do so.  If the fit continues, detach, especially if you are getting mad at your child.  Detach means ignore and walk away calmly saying "it is not okay for you to throw fits" or whatever they are doing.  Disarm is helping your child calm down by hugging him/her, but for some babies this makes them more angry, so you need to remove them from the setting that is upsetting him/her and if you can't calmly calm them down quickly, you give them a time-out until they are cooled off.  But the kicker is that disarming can NEVER be done with anger.  Sometimes it's hard not to feel upset when Kailee is throwing a huge fit over something so dumb like her suddenly wanting a different color plate.  I just have to remember to always CALMLY  react or ignore.

It reminds all parents to never raise your voice or degrade your children.  I have a pretty calm demeanor and don't catch myself yelling at my kids, but I have tried to make Kailee feel bad about peeing on the floor or in her panties which the book says is degrading. :(  She hasn't done that in a while, but when I knew she knew better, it was frustrating.

It supports my "no spanking" beliefs.  I really feel that love, patience, positive reinforcement, and time outs can cure behavioral problems.  This book is also cool b/c it reminds you that your toddlers are human and have likes and dislikes and it's okay for them to express their dislikes for things.  We can't expect them to like everything we cook or every game or sport we'd like them to play.

This book says time outs aren't meant for punishing and to never send a child to be locked in their room.  Time outs are meant to have a couple of minutes to cool down and should be done with the parent first holding them or getting at their level and explaining their behavior and what is not allowed.  After they understand why they can't do whatever it is they are throwing a fit about, then you can let them sit there til they calm down or you can sit with them.  I normally talk to Kailee and then sit her on my bed and tell her when she is ready to be nice and talk like a big girl, she can come out.  She normally cries for about 1 minute and then comes out ready to be nice!!

Sorry this is so long. As you can tell, I totally recommend this book!! It teaches Moms how to teach children to control their emotions! If we don't, their teenage years will be really difficult for everyone!