Personal Revelation

It happened.  The moment I've been waiting for...The General Conference Addresses came in this month's Ensign!!!  Kailee pulled it out of the mailbox a couple days ago and I finally started reading it.  I love hearing the words of our latter day prophet and church leaders.  Last fall, Jared & I tried to read 1 talk a night together, which was wonderful, but I think with his busy schedule these next few weeks with teaching early morning seminary, school, & lessons... I think I'll start reading it on my own.

One of the 1st talks is by the Relief Society General President, Julie B. Beck, and I REALLY loved this talk b/c it totally applies to my life not only right now, but forever.  You can find this talk at http://www.lds.org/.  Click on General Conference Addresses.  This talk describes a typical good woman and how we can receive personal revelation to guide us in our lives.  "Revelation can come hour by hour and moment by moment as we do the right things.  When women nurture as Christ nurtured, a power and peace can descend to guide when help is needed."  Even when we're tired and the kids are going crazy.  If we stay calm, the Spirit will guide us.  "Personal Revelation gives us the understanding of what to do every day to increase faith and personal righteousness, strengthen families and homes, and seek those who need our help."  The Lord's Spirit will "enlighten our minds, fill our souls with joy, and help us know all things we should do.  Promised personal revelation comes when we ask for it, prepare for it, and go forward in faith, trusting that it will be poured out upon us."  This is so true.  This is a bit personal, but I'll share anyways.  :)  Allie, as you know is almost 2 years old.  I totally want a 3rd baby and was thinking we'd start trying again when she turns 2 (told I had to wait this long in order to try for a VBACK.  Plus with my painful varicose veins, I can't get pregnant until I'm no longer having to hold Allie all the time). Jared said... I'm ready whenever you are... you're the one that has to get up tons during the night :)  So, excited at the thought of getting pregnant in August or September, I started to pray and ponder a lot on the matter.  A newborn sounds so fun and the thought of 3 little kiddos playing together sounds so wonderful!  But something just never sat right, still doesn't.  With our girls, we had that great feeling like it was the time!!!  But we aren't having that same feeling now...it's more like a stupor of thought.  All I can think about is Allie and how difficult she is sometimes.  She is a very strong willed child and I honestly feel she needs my guidance and direction right now.  Her 2nd & 3rd year are crucial and I'd hate to neglect her when she needs me most.  Let's face it, babies take A LOT of our time and attention.  Even after having these thoughts, I kindof brushed them aside and thought... people do it all the time... I'm tough, I can handle it, things will workout, Allie will be fine, I want another baby..... then what happened?  I got SUPER sick... Sinus infection/Strep throat.  I seriously felt like I was about to die or something.  I couldn't walk without my head throbbing and it hurt SOOOO bad to swallow.  It was so hard to give Allie the attention she needed with me feeling so sick.  I thought, what if the next baby is a boy and things are different and I get SICK when I'm pregnant.... maybe the Lord is trying to tell me I should wait a little longer.  So, I finally listened to my heart and what the Heavenly Father was trying to tell me.  I kept thinking... when am I going to know... when is he going to answer my prayers and tell me yes, it's time, go for it.  Then I remembered, it's not on my time table, it's on His.  So, we've decided to wait another year.  And I feel really good about this decision.  It's nice to finally have the confirmation that we've been looking for.... that now is not a good time.  Who knows why.  Maybe my veins are going to hurt a little more than last time and I'll have to elevate my feet all the time, maybe I'll be bed ridden at some point during my next pregnancy, maybe I'll have twins, or maybe Heavenly Father knows that waiting is what Allie really needs.  I don't know the whys, but feel confident that we're doing the right thing and I trust in Heavenly Father's plan for our family.  I'm only 24, I still have time to have lots of kids, right!!!  Sorry this post is long and full of rambling thoughts.  End of the talk... last quote... "the greatest good we can do to ourselves and each other (as women) is to refine and cultivate ourselves in everything that is good and ennobling to qualify us for [our] responsibilites."  Stay tuned for the next Conference talk I read!!

Painting!

Finally got around to doing a little more painting in our house.  Here is our half bath!

Below is our kitchen.  This painting totally depicts my dream home!

We painted the kitchen a while back; I just now added the sconces on both sides of the picture and painted the yellow sandy color wall.

Why this high chair is here, I know not.  I keep hoping Allie will stay my baby girl, but she is too grown up and too independent to sit in the highchair now.  She sits proudly in the pink booster seat!

Mother's Day

First off, I had a wonderful Mother's Day, thanks to my hunk-a-burnin love!!!  On Friday, Jared brought me home a beautiful bouquet of flowers.  On saturday, I was seriously sleep deprived so Jared took our girls and our two nieces to Sam's and the park to give me a little time to sleep.  Of course I didn't sleep b/c there were still 2 loads of laundry to fold and i needed to clean the bathrooms.  But I really enjoyed the time to myself b/c honestly, it's hard to get a lot done with cranky, teething Allie demanding my attention!  Jared started off my day (Sunday) with breakfast in bed (sausage, egg, & cheese biscuit w/ o.j. and a banana)!  My favorite.  I ask for it every year!  After church, he made me a turkey sandwich and helped me get the girls down for a nap.  For dinner, he made me Chicken Cordon Bleu with mashed potatoes, green beans, a salad, and Texas Toast.  Soooooo yummy.  Jared would tell you he was born to sing, not cook, so I love it when he makes me dinner!  It gets better.... he did ALL of the dishes too!!  What a relaxing day.  Thanks babes!  You are the best.  I totally understand why all of your friends call you the J-man!!! lol

Sidenote: I rejoice in motherhood not only on mother's day, but every day!  I was born to nuture and love.  Now that I am a mother, I am certain that God truely does have a divine plan for women.  He gave us this wonderful role, as mothers, and the ability to love unconditionally as He does.  I feel closest to God when I am with my sweet children (except when Allie is throwing a temper tantrum) :)  I never knew how rewarding motherhood could be.  I wouldn't trade it for a gazillion dollars.  I live for my children (and husband) and I would die for them as well.  Sometimes I wish we lived long ago when there weren't so many things demanding our time.  Sometimes I wish we lived in more humble circumstances on a farm without a car where we grew our own crops as a family, worked as a family, fetched our own wood and water from a well as a family, slept in a small 1 room house or shed as a family, without any phone calls to make or receive, without e-mail to check or internet to browse, or gyms or restaurants to attend.  Just for a moment, it sure would be fun to cook and eat all of our meals with Daddy.  To spend all of our time together.  To go to sleep singing silly songs and hymns and waking up to Kailee and Allie crawling all over us.  I bet there would be more time for long family walks, more games of hide-and-seek, more gratitude in our hearts for all that we have, including each other.  Family really is my #1 priority and I'm so grateful to have a husband that puts his family first as well.  Though we can't hop in a time machine and live a hundred or so years ago, I hope that I can teach my kids to love one another and to be grateful for all that we have, to reach out to others, and to always put family first.  I hope we are never too busy to sing and dance around the house, to read stories to our children, to talk and to laugh, to live and to love.  I am so grateful to be a mother.  The Lord must really think highly of us to entrust us with Allie, as she has surely hit her "terrible twos!"  Though she is strong-willed and a challenge, I'm going to look at this next year as her "terrific twos!!"  I"m grateful Allie has such a wonderful big sister to look up to.  Kailee truely is an angel.  She is so sweet and loving and patient with Allie.  Allie too is a sweet little angel; her wings are just on fire!!! :)  Kailee randomly tells me all the time "I love you Mommy!"  Allie loves to give hugs and kisses.  Both girls love to snuggle and play with us!  These are the moments we live for!  Thankyou girls for bringing your Mommy so much joy, so much laughter, so many smiles, and so much love.  "I'll love you forever, I'll love you for always, as long as I'm living, my babies you'll be!"  And even someday when I pass on, I hope you'll always remember the love I have for you!  Though my mom does not live close by, I can still feel the love she has for me!  I think a Mother's love is the greatest gift God could give children.  Thanks Mom for always loving me, encouraging me, and believing in me!!  You have made me a better person and a better mother!  I love you!

Secondly, I adopted two kids for 4 1/2 days!!   Jared's sis went on a cruise with her hubby (lucky)... so our nieces, Ocean & Eden, came to play with us!  Our girls thoroughly enjoyed the company!  Their girls are 3 and 5, so they joined in our preschool and were a great addition!  Kailee LOVES playing with them!  Allie loved the company too, she just didn't like that there were more people to share and take turns with :)  On Sunday night, Jared's brother, Cameron, came to visit for a night.  Here are a few pics.  Enjoy!

Kailee looks like she's asleep! :)

Chilly Willies!!  AKA popsicles! Yummy!