15 more weeks!

Just to warn you, this post is more for my journal; just wanted someone to "talk" to tonight.  :)  Sorry, no pics. for this update.  :(  Too lazy to go get my camera and upload them to the computer.  lol  It's 10pm and the girls are in bed and Jared is gone, so after calling a few family members, I am now bored and decided I wanted to record what's going on in our lives right now.  Today was a good day.  Jared got up at 3:15 to run 16 miles before he had to teach a missionary prep class at church at 7... then he could've napped, but wanted to come with us to Kailee's soccer practice. :)  Kailee loves it and it's so cute watching her.  Her coach's name is Coach Ducky... I think it's made up for fun, but who knows?  Then we went to a Sports store to pick Jared out some running shoes for his birthday (this Wednesday)!!  He found a pair he loves!  We went to McDonalds for a few cheeseburgers and then came home.  Jared was just about to try and get an hour nap in b4 he had to go to work when someone called and needed his help earlier.... so on 4 1/2 hours of sleep, he has been working the lights for some community concerts at his school from like 1:30 until 11pm.  Yes, he gets paid extra, so that's a plus, but poor guy is just exhausted from little sleep and his long run.  Marathon training is crazy, but I'm so proud of his efforts and accomplishments thus far!  Jared's Mom (Granny) sent the girls a package they got today and it was PERFECT! Halloween mac n cheese, halloween oreos, candy, pony tails, and a Halloween Dora movie. The girls were sooooo excited and begged me to make the mac n cheese for dinner and to have a "sleepover" so they could watch their new movie.  So, with Jared gone, we missed him, but had a yummy dinner, yummy treat, and had fun snuggling in our pj's while we watched Dora!  I must admit, the package kindof cheered me up to b/c I love to see the girls so excited!  I LOVE snuggling the girls in my new rocking recliner!  I can remember snuggling with my Mom and brother, Jacob, while watching a movie and eating treats, growing up.  Good times.  I like to record all the good memories with my kiddos so we never forget them! :)

I'm 25 weeks prego now and I feel like this has been the first HARD week.  My varicose veins just keep getting worse and it's just harder to be up and about on my feet all day... so I'm trying to make adjustments to my life to help my legs feel better.  Dr. says I need to have my legs kicked up (elevated above my heart) as much as possible and to be honest it is hard to sit down knowing there are things to clean or get done, but I've decided it's time I force myself to chill a lot more.  After preschool on Friday, I took the girls to Walmart to get the oil changed and do my grocery shopping and when I got home my legs were hurting so bad and my hips were just achy, I just decided putting the groceries away would have to wait and while the girls played, I layed on pillows and kicked my feet up on our bed.  I guess it was time to let my emotions run wild b/c I just started crying and couldn't stop.  The girls came in and immediately started snuggling me and of course made me feel all better. :)  Then it was time to suck it up and keep going.  I don't want them to think being pregnant is a miserable thing... maybe they'll get lucky and won't have the same issues as I do someday when they're grown and prego.  Everyday I really do feel so grateful to have another child growing inside of me.  I just can't help but wonder why me, why must it be so hard for me when it seems it's not that hard for so many people.  I know very few people that deal with varicose veins ALL over like I do.  I love kids so much and have always wanted a big family, but maybe this is the Lord's way of letting me know we're not supposed to have a big family?  I dunno.  I just don't know if my body can handle another pregnancy.  It's hard to imagine being a bedridden mommy.... that would be so hard.  In reality, the last 5 months are what's tough and 5 months isn't that long... it's doable, right?  I keep telling myself maybe we can have 1 more after this, but sometimes I just don't know if I can handle another pregnancy.  Anyhoo... I was reading an ensign article the other day and it was so just what I needed to hear.  It was about Christ's atonement and how he went through  EVERYTHING I can even imagine and it made me think about how bringing a child into this world and into our home is a big sacrifice as far as my body is concerned, but it is not nearly as hard as the sacrifice Christ made for us.  I felt like I wasn't alone, like if He could do it, then I can do it.  I realize I can't do it alone though... my legs just get so achy it's like they are giving out and I have to sit down and kick my feet up.  I must say I'm grateful for compression hose, they stop a lot of the pain, they just don't help with the achy feeling like my legs are about to fall off.  So, I'm going to start cooking less and use my freezer meals (I have like 16 now!) until my Grandma comes to stay with me.  I'm flying Mama Bert out the beginning of Nov. to help me cook, clean, and stay off my feet more.  I'm so excited b/c she is so fun and we'll make some good memories sharing the holidays together :)  I hired my babysitter as my deep cleaner today.  She spent 2 hours vacuuming, sweeping & mopping, & wiping down our bathroom counters!  I just can't do it anymore and she was a life savor!  I didn't realize how long it takes just to do those things.  I was cleaning, organizing preschool stuff, and making strawberry jam the whole time, so I stayed busy, but at least after she left I could relax and not have to do all of that cleaning b/c it literally just wears out my legs and Jared had zero time to help today, plus I hate asking him to clean on his only day off work.  If he's free next weekend, he might have to help though :)  I'm gonna have our cleaner come twice a month!  Best decision ever.  :)

We go to the library like 2-3 times a month and we got like 40 books this week and have already read them all.  I just kick up my feet and the girls snuggle with me as I read them books.  They love it.  I love it.  My legs love it.  I spend more time reading Ensign articles and my scriptures these days too.  I've been forced to slow down a little and it feels kind of nice to relax a bit and take more time for reading and pondering.  I enjoy being busy and am always on the go, go, go, but now it is time I slow, slow, slow and as Allie would say "hey, that rhymes!!" :)  Jared has been so great with giving the girls baths lately and taking them upstairs to bed b/c by the end of the day my legs are shot.  Jared has long days too and I know he's tired, so it makes me extra grateful for his help.  I love just kicking my feet up and watching the girls play with him as they play tickle games, laugh, and read books together.  I love my hun bun!

I stopped teaching step aerobics this week.  Last week it was fine and then it was like my body went way downhill this week and I just could not do it on Monday, so I called my boss, got a sub, and told her I was done til this baby comes out.  Kinda bummed, but must admit I enjoyed just being home on a Saturday morning for once.  We didn't have to rush to the gym... we just relaxed, Kailee helped me make carrot muffins, and we took our time getting ready for Kailee's 10am soccer practice.  It was a nice morning.  Normally Friday and Sundays are my days off working out, but now I think it'll be Sat. and Sun.  Walking now is kindof hard b/c it hurts a little to pick my right leg up.  So, I started using my elliptical instead and my arms help to move my legs and it's like a gliding motion so I don't have to pick my feet up.  It's perfect and actually makes me sweat!  I've been doing P90X weight workouts at home the past few weeks just 2-3 times a week and it's great b/c I can sit on my bed for half of it and rest my legs while I do arm workouts.  I'm going to try to keep it up the next few months :)

Kailee is so sweet.  She made a cute picture for Daddy and hid it in his packed lunch so he'd find it at work the next day.  It said "I love you Dad Love Kailee."  We enjoy leaving notes in her lunch on Thursdays when she goes to preschool and it's cute to see her initiate returning the favor.  I found a cute love note from her in my pajamas drawer the other day.  I love that she is thoughtful and thinks of things and people to pray for without having to be reminded.  I love that she has stopped complaining and is grasping some work ethic.  She didn't complain the past 2 weeks when folding her laundry and she happily helps me unload the dishwasher.  (We had a couple of tough weeks when she didn't want to help much, but the sticker chart solved that problem).  Every two weeks, if they have folded their laundry both weeks and helped me when I've asked with putting pillows on couch, cleaning up toys, books, shoes, setting the table, cleaning their room, etc... then we celebrate as a family.  We went to chick fillet, then to get donuts & choc. milk and their next reward is going to the Texas FAIR!!!  They are so excited.  Jared's gonna take off work one day to take them so I can just chill and not have to be on my feet for hours.  Kailee is so sweet to her "sissy" and they play upstairs and outside together all the time and I just love hearing them talk to each other.  Kailee is a great big sister!

Watching Allie grow up is just as much fun!  It's funny how different she and Kailee are.  They are both so cute, funny, and precious in their own little ways.  Allie LOVES snuggling us with her blankie and thumb in mouth!  It's like we still have a little baby... even though she is 3.  She is so vibrant and loud and funny.  She keeps us laughing.  It's cute to watch her say prayers all by herself.  She loves playing upstairs, outside, and sitting in her book corner.  She reads books to herself all the time.  I'll tell her often to pick out 3 or 5 books to bring me to read her and she'll always bring like 8 b/c she just loves them all so much and can't possibly narrow it down anymore.  I watch her try to narrow it down and it is just cute how she convinces me she needs to read all of them.  Allie is my little helper.  She rarely complains and loves helping me clean up anything.  She'll say "sure Mom," though sometimes she'll say "in just a minute."  Can't blame her, I say that too. :)  I love hearing her yell "YAY" when she's excited and when Jared gets home, she always runs to him saying "Daddy's home!"  I love it.  Allie finally will sit down to watch a movie.  Every morning after breakfast they can pick something to watch before preschool, playgroup, joyschool, etc.  She loves Dora, Barney, Angelina Ballerina, The Big Comfy Couch (cutest library movie), etc.  We don't use netflix very often for us these days... it's mostly for kid shows and the girls do a pretty good job of taking turns.  Each day they take turns getting to pick what they watch.  Anyhoo... we love both of our girls and love watching them grow and are sooooo excited for the holidays!  Nighty nights!