Saturday, November 13, 2010

Tinkerbell, Great Ideas, and Love & Logic

I just wanted to write about Kailee's imaginary friend before she grows and I forget all about it.  Kailee has to take "Tinkerbell" with her everywhere.  We'll be loading up the car and she'll start whining and say "oh no, Mommy, I have to go back in and get Tinkerbell, she'll be so sad if she can't come with us."  She also has to buckle her in the back seat.  Tinkerbell made us pretend biscuits for breakfast the other morning too.  At McDonalds a week ago, we sat down with our food and Kailee suddenly has a melt down.  I asked her what was wrong and she said "Mommy, I'm so sad there's not a seat for Tinkerbell."  She was balling.  We told her Tink was so small she could sit on the table or even sit beside her and that next time we'd let her pick the table.  Then as soon as we drove away Kailee starts crying her eyes out and said "mommy, I'm so sad because Tinkerbell didn't want to ride with us; she wanted to ride in her car."  So I asked her what color Tinkerbell's car was and she said it was green to match her dress.  I told her that was okay, we'd see her at home, but then she was worried Tinkerbell wouldn't remember how to get to our house.  So cute.  Jared said this whole Tinkerbell thing is a little over the top b/c last weekend Kailee asked Daddy to open the gate to the stairs because Tinkerbell wanted to go take a nap, lol.  Yesterday when Kailee never fell asleep during nap, she simply said "I couldn't sleep because Tinkerbell kept talking to me and it woke me up."  When walking in to Wal-mart yesterday Kailee said "look, I see Tinkerbell flying in the sky that way the cars won't get her."  And for dinner tonight, Kailee told me I couldn't sit by her b/c Tink was sitting there, lol.  It is Tinkerbell ALL DAY LONG.  I told her after her cousins leave this weekend, Tinkerbell was going to go home and visit her family for a little while b/c she misses them.  Kailee totally bought it and hopes she'll come back to visit soon!  I figured that was a better option than Jared's: he told Kailee he thought he saw a fly, so he whacked it with a fly swatter...and it was Tinkerbell...and that she had to go to the hospital.....MEAN..... Kailee started crying and I said "silly Daddy, he's just teasing you."  Jared thinks he is so funny.

Kailee is also into having GREAT ideas!!  I try to never crush them.  She'll say things like "Hey Mom, when we do letter A again, can we have ah-ah-apple juice for letter A!!!???"  "Sure, that's a great idea," followed by a huge smile b/c she is so happy to have had a great idea.  Sometimes her great ideas don't sound so great b/c they require work for me, but if they are possible, I try to go along with her great ideas!

"Parenting with Love & Logic" is one of the best books I've read.  I love it b/c it totally works!  I feel like we were already doing a lot of what it says to do, but there are a lot of helpful tips for when our girls get older too.  It is all about giving our kids choices (both of which we approve of) and letting them have some control of their life.  If there is a yes or no option... my girls would choose no, so choices are the way to go!!  Rhyme!  What what!  I also liked that it said to not give your kids commands like "clean up your toys please" or "go potty" or "stop that."  Try to give kids options...."Kailee, would you like to clean up your toys now or play with them for one more minute?"  "Kailee, would you like to go potty with the light on or off?"  "Kailee, do you think what you're doing is making Allie upset?  What could you do to help her feel better."  The book encourages letting kids THINK.  Let them make choices and grow through experiencing the consequences of their choices.  "Kailee would you like a coat?" "No thanks Mommy."  One minute later, she comes inside and says she needs her coat."  Don't tell our kids their every move... let them think for themselves and make choices.  Her being cold will teach her more than me making her wear her coat b/c when we make our kids do things, they either rebel or hold resentment.  I love this book.  I wish all parents would read it.  Obviously, we set boundaries, but give them choices within those boundaries so that they feel they are "big kids" and are making choices.  One thing that I also love is that it says to stay on your child's side.  When they get a bad grade on a report card, don't punish and scold them b/c then it just makes them mad at you.  Act sad for them "Awe man, how do you feel about that grade?  What did your teacher say? What are you going to do about that?  Is there anything I can do to help you?"  Celebrate their strengths and be there to help them with their weaknesses.  "Would you like to do your homework before or after a snack?"  If they don't do their homework or chores, don't keep reminding them and get mad at them, just say "feel free to join us for dinner after you've taken the trash out."  "I'd love for you to join us in this game as soon as your homework is done."  "I'd love to take you to your soccer practice as soon as your homework is done.  Let me know if you need any help."  The biggest thing is to not get emotional when our kids make poor decisions.  When they get an attitude and talk rudely to us, hold it together, and say, "I think you need to go sit on my bed for a few minutes until you're ready to talk nicely to me.  Would you like the door open or closed?"  Then tell them "how could you tell me what you were trying to tell me in a nice way?"  I do this with Kailee sometimes when she throws a huge fit.  She'll cry for a minute on my bed and then come out and say "I'm sorry for throwing a fit...I'm ready to be nice."  And I don't get mad at her.  I react calmly and embrace her lovingly when she apologizes.  Have I convinced you yet to read this book??  I'll stop now, but if you have kids or are a teacher, PLEASE read it!!

Allie is still stinkin cute and always makes us laugh.  For Halloween she told us "Daddy gonna be seeping bootie!"  Allie is a busy body and we just love her to pieces.  Kailee adores her and cheers her on with every accomplishment "Good job Allie, I'm so proud of you, come give me a hug!"  They are best friends for sure, but do have their moments when they don't feel like sharing. :)  I love being a Mom and Jared LOVES his girls as well.  Life is good.  Life is great!  The blessings and joys of parenthood are the best kept secrets!  I never knew being a Mommy would be so fun and rewarding until I became one!  Love you girls!

1 comment:

Unknown said...

Loved reading this post, and we LOVE, Love and Logic. When I was a teacher in Rockwall, we were ALL required to read it, so that our students would think about their choices. My favorite comment to say from Love and Logic was, "I respect you too much to argue with you." Our argumentative students didn't know how to respond (verbally) to that...it was great!!